The one about communication
People think communication is everything and it truly is. My husband is amazing but he's not a mind reader. He didn't know how worked up I would get in my head every morning when I was trying to do a million things. He thought just being there was helpful, but it wasn't enough. I needed that little extra piece.
My husband works from home but because I'm somebody who needs a bit of control and a schedule, even if it's just for peace of mind, I came to him and I was like, I need more of a schedule when you're here. Like, I need a designated time for myself in the morning, that's exclusively for myself that I can use however I want. So we sat down and we made a schedule. Every morning I wake up and get her around 7:00, and then at seven thirty he swoops in and he takes her. And then from seven thirty to nine thirty, that's my time. And that doesn't mean that we're not all in here together, but I can go back into bed and read a book, I can shower and blow dry my hair, I can go pick up groceries by myself, I can answer emails and tick things off my to do list. That was a huge game changer and a new chapter for me because even if I feel like I haven't gotten anything done all afternoon and there's things that I want to do, I don't stress about it anymore because I know that I'm going to have that time the next day and get it done. I would say that would be like my biggest piece of advice. Figure out with your partner, if you can, how to have moments for yourself to do literally whatever you want. You're setting yourself up for success because you're putting out there what you need to thrive in your relationship. Setting those expectations throughout the course is so important.
I know people give a lot of unsolicited advice, but the one that really resonated with me was when someone told me to just be nice to each other. When you find yourself in a moment where you fucking hate the person, just like just still being nice to them. There's going to be so many times when the other person is doing something wrong or they're not doing it the way you would do it or you just don't understand why they're not getting up or reacting to something. The advice was good. Just be nice and it'll make everything so much easier and you'll love each other so much more when you’re at the end of all of this. And those words have come back to me so many times.