Nobody and nothing prepares a mother for a NICU stay (no matter how short or long it is) and a postpartum, life altering diagnosis for your baby. My son was born with Down syndrome and the very first time I held him after my c section I was elated. I was so happy to finally be a mother for the first time. That moment will forever be ingrained in my memory of the moment that my world and future changed instantly. That moment was one of the happiest and turned into one of my saddest moments when my midwife informed me that he had physical indicators of Down syndrome.
I look back and all I know is before his diagnosis and after. We spent two of the scariest weeks of my life in the NICU with my son trying to get him strong so we could come home. I would be lying if I said motherhood has been everything I ever imagined because it’s the exact opposite. But I’m learning that the “after” (his diagnosis) is beautiful, hard and mixed with a slew of emotions and that’s ok. I wouldn’t change a thing because my son is teaching me more about myself than I had ever learned in my first 30 years on this earth